This blog is dedicated to my love. She is an Angel in disguise. She is my FALLEN ANGEL..

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Saturday, April 02, 2016

You don’t have to look behind... This song is mine own.. Always mine own

My ember has created the dreams for you
You don’t have to see that
You don’t remain watching that
Who are you to me..?
You don’t have to tell, to anyone
You don’t have to tell the stories also
Between us….
You don’t have to hear the murmuring song
You don’t have to sing along also
You don’t have to dance along
Simply to walk behind
You don’t have to ask the permission
You don’t have to look behind
Without meeting the eye to eye
“Are you seeing me”…?
“Can you speak anything”..?
Getting wet in the eyes, is this the tear drop…?
My wish, is it you…?
In the soul, of this song
As the pain is lingered
You don’t have to know that
You shouldn't know anything
But still I will sing
This song is mine own
Always mine own....

From Fallen Angel.





Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back everything is different...

Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back everything is different...

The memory

But you can't forget something like that, no matter how much you drink, snort, or shoot into your veins. The memory stalks you forever and creeps up to maul you like a rabid dog, when you least expect it...

I DON'T UNDERSTAND MY OWN FEELINGS

I DON'T UNDERSTAND MY OWN FEELINGS

Sometimes you just gotta accept that some people can only be in your heart, not in your life.

Sometimes you just gotta accept that some people can only be in your heart, not in your life.

She was like the moon, part of her was always hidden away.

She was like the moon, part of  her was always hidden away.

Before you kill yourself

Before you kill yourself, just remember that there are places you have not been and things you have not seen. And poems to awe, art to draw, fields to walk through, people to talk to, music to take in, games to win, and books to be read. So why, Oh why, do you wish to be dead...?

Sometimes, you can only feel something by its absence.

Sometimes, you can only feel something by its absence. By the empty space it leaves behind.

You lost a part of your existence.

You lost a part of your existence in the war against yourself

I wanted to kill myself because I was very unhappy

I wanted to kill myself because I was very unhappy

DON'T LET IT CONSUME YOU

DON'T LET IT CONSUME YOU

THE SKY LOOKS SAD

THE SKY LOOKS SAD

IM SORRY THAT IM LITERALLY JUST SO SHITTY SOMETIMES

IM SORRY THAT IM LITERALLY JUST SO SHITTY SOMETIMES, BUT I TRULY DONT MEAN TO BE

The best way to not get your heart broken.

The best way to not get your heart broken, is pretending you don't have one.

Friday, April 01, 2016

IM SORRY

IM SORRY THAT IM DISTANT AND NEEDY AND SAD ALL THE TIME AND IM SORRY THAT I OVER THINK EVERYTHING AND IM SORRY THAT I DON'T SAY THE RIGHT THINGS IM SORRY THAT I SAY SORRY TOO MUCH...

OOPS I'M SAD AGAIN

OOPS I'M SAD AGAIN

I can see you're sad, even when you smile, even when you laugh. I can see it in your eyes, deep inside you wanna cry...

I can see you're sad, even when you smile, even when you laugh. I can see it in your eyes, deep inside you wanna cry...

When you make plans while you're in a good mood but then the day comes and you would actually rather die..

When you make plans while you're in a good mood but then the day comes and you would actually rather die

Why am I so Fascinated by you...

Why am I so Fascinated by you...

Maybe there is a reason that it didn't work out. But I think it could have been wonderful anyway...

Maybe there is a reason that it didn't work out. But I think it could have been wonderful anyway...

You meet thousands of people, and none of them really touch you. Then you meet one person, and your life changed. Forever...

You meet thousands of people, and none of them really touch you. Then you meet one person, and your life changed. Forever...

You meet thousands of people,
and none of them really touch you.
Then you meet one person,
and your life changed.
Forever...

Ofcourse I miss you. It's all I do...

Ofcourse I miss you. It's all I do...

Sometimes you have to lose someone completely before you can figure out what they really mean to you...

Sometimes you have to lose someone completely before you can figure out what they really mean to you...

I think I miss what I thought we would be...

I think I miss what I thought we would be...

but the memories wont seem to let me go...

but the memories wont seem to let me go...

Your name burns hot when I write it,it feels heavy when I say it out loud...

Your name burns hot when I write it,it feels heavy when I say it out loud...

There were so many things I wanted to tell you, that I never got around to. Sometimes they make their way to my conscious mind, and it makes me sad. I never got a chance to tell you. I never will. And even now things are going on that I wish I could tell you about. But I'll never get to tell you those, either.

There were so many things I wanted to tell you, that I never got around to. Sometimes they make their way to my conscious mind, and it makes me sad. I never got a chance to tell you. I never will. And even now things are going on that I wish I could tell you about. But I'll never get to tell you those, either.


There were so many things I wanted to tell you,
that I never got around to.
Sometimes they make their way to my conscious mind,
and it makes me sad.
I never got a chance to tell you.
I never will.

And even now things are going on that
I wish I could tell you about.
But I'll never get to tell you those, either.

I want you to miss me, Like I'm missing you...

I want you to miss me, Like I'm missing you...

i fucking miss you

i fucking miss you

Dear You, I miss you. I miss how you cared for me, how you always make my day, how you used to cheer me up, and how you make me feel that you love me. I miss everything that used to be. WHAT HAPPENED..? Love, Me

Dear You, I miss you. I miss how you cared for me, how you always make my day, how you used to cheer me up, and how you make me feel that you love me. I miss everything that used to be. WHAT HAPPENED..? Love, Me

Will you take me as I am..? Will you..?

Will you take me as I am..? Will you..?

I thought of you today. I felt a burst of energy.

I thought of you today. I felt a burst of energy.

Life is so lonely. Like a child without a toy.

Life is so lonely. Like a child without a toy.

Depression on my left, Loneliness on my right. They don’t need to show me their badges. I know these guys very well.

Depression on my left, Loneliness on my right. They don’t need to show me their badges. I know these guys very well.

I’ll never forget how the depression and loneliness felt good and bad at the same time. Still does

I’ll never forget how the depression and loneliness felt good and bad at the same time. Still does

Depression is the inability to construct a future.

Depression is the inability to construct a future.

I become more invisible every day, and I cannot stop it.

I become more invisible every day, and I cannot stop it.

“I was drowning up nobody saw me struggling,”

“I was drowning up nobody saw me struggling,”

Is it okay to feel worthless...?

Is it okay to feel worthless

I think some people do fall in love with there depression. “In a strange way, I had fallen in love with my depression”

I think some people do fall in love with there depression. “In a strange way, I had fallen in love with my depression”

I Bottle up my emotions

I Bottle up my emotions

I feel lost inside myself...

I feel lost inside myself

My past haunts me… constantly

My past haunts me… constantly

I tell people I’m tired but in fact I’m depressed. I tell people ill be fine tomorrow, but I know, tomorrow will be worse. I tell lies everyday and I know, i’ll not be able to stop it by myself.

I tell people I’m tired but in fact I’m depressed. I tell people ill be fine tomorrow, but I know, tomorrow will be worse. I tell lies everyday and I know, i’ll not be able to stop it by myself.

Why don’t you understand how much your words are hurting me?

Why don’t you understand how much your words are hurting me?

I tell everyone to be strong, knowing I am the weakest person in the world.

I tell everyone to be strong, knowing I am the weakest person in the world.

It’s like you’re a million deep breaths while I’m just a silent sigh. You’re everything anyone could ever ask for but I’m someone that no one is even looking for. i wish I was worthy of you.

It’s like you’re a million deep breaths while I’m just a silent sigh. You’re everything anyone could ever ask for but I’m someone that no one is even looking for. i wish I was worthy of you.

Depression is like a war. you either win or die trying.

Depression is like a war. you either win or die trying.

Do you ever feel like there’s not a person in the world who loves you...?

Do you ever feel like there’s not a person in the world who loves you?

It’s always worse than it seems.

It’s always worse than it seems.


What is depression like? It’s like drowning, except you can see everyone around you breathing.

What is depression like? It’s like drowning, except you can see everyone around you breathing.

If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation. Depression just is, like the weather. Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness and loneliness ther’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side. It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it is one of the kindest noblest and best things you will ever do.


If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation. Depression just is, like the weather. Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness and loneliness ther’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the otherside. It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it is one of the kindest noblest and best things you will ever do.

It feels like everyone else is moving on with their lives while I am stuck here in this hole that I can’t climb out of.

It feels like everyone else is moving on with their lives while I am stuck here in this hole that I can’t climb out of.

That moment when you can actually feel the pain in your chest from seeing or hearing something that breaks your heart.

That moment when you can actually feel the pain in your chest from seeing or hearing something that breaks your heart.

Afterall, Everybody would be much better off without me right?

Afterall, Everybody would be much better off without me right?

I am depression. I’m the emptiness you feel at 2am. the tears with no meaning. The pain when you smile. I don’t come alone. I bring my closest friends. We are the scars that cover your body. the voice you describe. But soon learn to trust. I am the only thing you will feel

I am depression. I’m the emptiness you feel at 2am. the tears with no meaning. The pain when you smile. I don’t come alone. I bring my closest friends. We are the scars that cover your body. the voice you describe. But soon learn to trust. I am the only thing you will feel

Maybe this year Ill get myself off of the floor and try to pretend that things are getting better, That I’m changing but I still feel the same.

Maybe this year Ill get myself off of the floor and try to pretend that things are getting better, That I’m changing but I still feel the same.

I don’t think anyone could ever criticize me more severly than the way I viciously criticize myself.

I don’t think anyone could ever criticize me more severely than the way I viciously criticize myself.